Daughters of God - Queens in the Making

My Queenly Daughters

On November 16, 2008 I gave a talk in Sacrament Meeting...the subject was "right up my alley!" I decided to share it on my blog.....

We live in a time that prophets have foreseen and testified of for thousands of years. It’s an amazing time. We are seeing so much growth in the church…so many wonderful things happening and so many temples being built. But if we’re not carefully doing the things the Lord requires of us, it can also be a dangerous time for us spiritually.

Satan’s attack on women:
Satan knows the family is the pillar of society, and he is working aggressively to break it down. Furthermore, Satan knows who and what the heart of the family is--the women. Today my talk is based on Elder M. Russell Ballard’s talk “Daughters of God.” from last April’s GC. [En. 5/08] I drew from several other really good talks on the same subject and hope that the spirit will convey to you the message that is most needful.

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “The home is the place to save society--and women are the center of it.”

In a 2002 talk by Sheri Dew, she said, “Satan has declared war on motherhood. He knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail….never has there been a greater need for righteous mothers—mothers who bless their children with a sense of safety, security, and confidence about the future, mothers who teach their children where to find peace and truth and that the power of Jesus Christ is always stronger than the power of the adversary…. No woman who understands the gospel would ever think that any other work is more important or would ever say, “I am just a mother,” for mothers heal the souls of men.”

The heavy responsibilities of women and mothers:
Being a woman, a mother and a homemaker takes great stamina, and in today’s world women bear a heavy burden of responsibilities. There was never a truer statement made than, “A woman’s work is never done.”

At the recent General R.S. conference, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf gave one of the best addresses to women I’ve heard yet. He said, “To me it appears that our splendid sisters sometimes undervalue their abilities—they focus on what is lacking or imperfect rather than what has been accomplished and who they really are…this also points to an admirable quality: the innate desire to please the Lord to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, it can also lead to frustration, exhaustion, and unhappiness…We know that sometimes it can be difficult to keep our heads above water. In fact, in our world of change, challenges, and checklists, sometimes it can seem nearly impossible to avoid feeling overwhelmed by emotions of suffering and sorrow.”

In the recent GC Priesthood session, Elder Richard G. Scott had some marvelous things to say about women:
He said, “ [a woman] is compassionate and seeks the interests of others around her. However, that compassionate nature can become overwhelming for women who identify far more to accomplish than they can possibly do, even with the help of the Lord. Some become discouraged because they do not feel they are doing all they should do. I believe this is a feeling that many worthy, effective, devoted women of the Church experience.”

Hilary Weeks, an LDS songwriter, has penned the words to a beautiful song entitled, “All The Good”
“The minutes tick by, lost in the moonlight, as the day echoes through her mind. She wasn’t enough, she wonders if she ever will be, mistakes are all she sees, in the shadows of the night, and she forgets, when the guilt fades her memory, she forgets about the good things she’s done, the kind words she said, the tiny victories that no one sees, and the changes she’s made. When the count comes in as she’s adding up the day, in the midst of the coulds and shoulds, help her remember, all the good.
I’ve given my all, I run until I’m weary, and I reach up every time I fall. I know who I am, I feel it deep within me, but the best of me hides, while my weaknesses all shine and I forget, until He patiently reminds me, I forget about the good things I’ve done. He looks on the heart, fills in the missing pieces, and we can be sure that He knows and won’t forget… The good things we’ve done, the kind words we said, the tiny victories He surely sees, and the changes we’ve made. As the day comes to a close and we’ve done all we could, look through the mirror of His love and He will show us…all the good.”

You are doing better than you think you are:
Today my messages to the mothers and women is: You are doing better than you think you are! Tune in to the spirit of truth, and cast out the lies coming from Satan, and you will know it’s true. Don’t get discouraged because of the many things we are asked to do…seek to know the will of our Heavenly Father. Find out what he would have you to do. And remember that even every small thing is important to the Lord. Elder Ballard said he appreciated women who realized there were seasons for the things she does. In the scriptures the Lord tell us, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength…but be diligent unto the end.” (D&C 10:4) And, “..be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceeded that which is great.” (D&C 64:33) Pace yourself and make a proper balance of things and you will do fine. Stand up for what’s right and be an example for those around you.

I read an article in the Ensign a while back about a woman who felt prompted to do family history work. She said she already felt so overwhelmed about everything she had to do, she didn’t see how she could possible fit that into her life. She struggled with the feeling for a couple months, but then finally followed up on the prompting and began her FH work. As she did this she said everything else just fell into place or fell out of her life and she found that she wasn’t as busy as she had been before. She realized that as she put the Lord first (what He wanted her to do) that He made everything possible for her to be able to accomplish His work.

**this wasn’t in my original talk, but a thought I had and forgot to mention: In a recent letter from Lindsey on her mission she said she’d had an impression one day that “As we work for the Lord, He works for us.”
I know this is true as I’ve seen this happen in my life.

Elder Ballard said, “Every sister who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the influence of evil. Every sister who strengthens and protects her family is doing the work of God….and becomes a beacon for others to follow…Never doubt that your influence is absolutely vital to preserving the family and to assisting with the growth and spiritual vitality of the Church. This Church will not reach its foreordained destiny without you.”

Woman can make so much difference in the world around them. President Uchtdorf, who addressed us as “treasured daughters of our Heavenly Father with infinite worth” suggested that as we take the normal opportunities of our daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, we improve not only the world around us, but also the world within us.

Elder Rex D. Pinegar said, “Women have the seemingly innate ability to turn the harshness of our earthly existence into a world filled with softness, beauty and tenderness.”

In 1989 Gordon B. Hinckley issued a challenge to the women of the church, to rise to the stature of the divine within you. (GBH En11/89)

President Hinckley truly understood women. A book was published a few years ago called “One Bright Shining Hope” that is full of his quotes about women:
-"God bless you, my beloved sisters, who stand as the QUEENS in your home, that you may be happy with that happiness which comes of the knowledge that you are loved and honored and treasured." (One Bright, Shining Hope, pg 31)
-“Without women, the plan of God would be frustrated…women are the ‘crowning glory of God’s creation.’”

Motherhood
In 1942 the first presidency declared, “Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.”
The title of “mother” falls to all women, even those who are not given the opportunity to marry or bear children in this life. When Adam named Eve, the mother of all living, her motherhood preceded her maternity. Sheri Dew, who understands this very well said, “...Some of us…must simply find other ways to mother. And all around us are those who need to be loved and led…we each have the responsibility to love and help lead the rising generation…How will our young women learn to live as women of God unless they see what women of God look like? Every one of us has an overarching obligation to model righteous womanhood because our youth may not see it anywhere else.”

Young Mothers:
Elder Ballard’s wanted special attention to be given to the young mothers of the church, that we might all be aware of their overwhelming demands.
He wanted all mothers to know there is no one perfect way to be a good mother, and that each situation is unique with different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. He said what matters is that “a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.”
Elder Ballard pointed out that the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. I would add, that Satan can’t tempt children under the age of accountability--those are the years they are the most teachable.
As I look back on my motherhood, if I could choose to change only one thing, I wish I would have taught my children more about the gospel and about Jesus Christ. My children seemed so innocent for so long that it really snuck up on me until it was too late to have that chance to really teach them, the way I wish now that I would have.

Elder Ballard reminded us that this eternally important work of teaching children falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners.

He also said, “The full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult….There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made.”
He gave some suggestions a mother could do to reduce pressures and enjoy her family more.
He said, first, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. Even amid all the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
I really liked this quote from Author Anna Quindlen who said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less”

That phrase stuck in my head after conference, “Enjoy the doing a little more and the getting done a little less.” Enjoy the moments of life. I’ve been thinking about that a lot and trying to focus more on those moments. And it helps a lot.

Second, don’t over-schedule yourselves or your children….Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.

Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children…Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.

Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother.
I would add to that, let your children see you reading your scriptures daily and let them see you on your knees in prayer. If it’s important to you, it will be important to them.

A call for help from the men and children:
In many of the talks I read, our leaders called upon the husbands and children to help ease mom’s burdens and to express more love and appreciation.
Elder Scott said that as you express your love and gratitude more often it “will make life far richer, more pleasant and purposeful for many of the daughters of Father in Heaven who seldom hear a complimentary comment and are not thanked for the multitude of things they do.

Elder Ballard said, “Sometimes…husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.” So, these are some things he suggests:
-show extra appreciation
-tell her you love her
-give more validation for what your wife does every day
-notice things and say thank you—often
-schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.
-have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help
-come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
-give your wife a “day away” now and then--Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does

God’s order:
Now I’d like to talk a bit about God’s order and how it affects us as families.
Before Adam & Eve left the garden, the Lord put them under a covenant, that Eve would hearken unto the counsel of her husband, as her husband would hearken unto the counsel of the Father. And in the scriptures we read about wives being submissive to their husbands.
Satan wants to confuse us about what this really means. If we are not seeking the Lord’s will on the governing of our families we can easily be mislead.
The Lord gave man the priesthood with adequate instructions on how that priesthood is to be used, and especially in governing families. Satan tries to confuse women about the role of the Priesthood. Satan wants them feel inferior because they were not given the Priesthood, and the man to feel superior because he holds the Priesthood.
Elder James M. Paramore said, “No man who understands the gospel believes that he is greater than his wife, or more beloved of the Lord because he holds the Priesthood, but rather that he is under the responsibility of speaking and acting for the family in official matters. It is a protection to the woman, who because of her motherhood, is under a large physical and spiritual obligation. Motherhood is an eternal part of the Priesthood.”

In Ephesians, the Apostle Paul makes it a little more clear when he said:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your husbands, as unto the Lord….For the husband is head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the Church…Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” (Ephesians 5:22-24)

So as an analogy, the wife represents the Church of Christ, which is often referred to as the body of Christ. Without a body, we know we’d be very limited in what we could do. And the husband represents Christ, who is also the head, and therefore leads the way. By leading the way, he is setting the example.

As members of Christ’s church, when we truly come to love Christ, we’ll do anything for Him. We know He gives us commandments to guide us and keep us safe. We understand Christ’s perfect love for us. Christ never adds to our burdens, but instead He lifts them and makes them easier to carry. His kindness and mercy are unmatched. His desires are to comfort and to encircle us in the arms of His love. In fact, Christ loved the church and its people so much that he voluntarily endured persecution for them, suffered humiliating indignities for them, stoically withstood pain and physical abuse for them, and finally gave his precious life for them. So it goes, as the husband acts as Christ, guiding, comforting, serving, and lifting burdens, the woman, in return, is enabled to respond and follow by guiding, comforting, serving, and lifting burdens. Christ is the perfect example of all things that we should do and be.

In Elder Scott’s talk he said, “The purpose of priesthood authority is to give, to serve, to lift, to inspire—not to exercise unrighteous control or force. In some cultures, tradition places a man in a role to dominate, control, and regulate all family affairs. That is not the way of the Lord. In some places the wife is almost owned by her husband, as if she were another of his personal possessions. That is a cruel, unproductive, mistaken vision of marriage encouraged by Lucifer that every priesthood holder must reject. It is founded on the false premise that a man is somehow superior to a woman. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The scriptures confirm that Father in Heaven saved His greatest, most splendid, supreme creation, woman, to the end. Only after all else was completed was woman created. Only then was the work pronounced complete and good.”

President Kimball said:
“A woman need have no fear of being imposed upon or of any dictatorial measures or of any improper demands when the husband is self-sacrificing and worthy. Certainly no intelligent woman would hesitate to give submission to her own truly righteous husband in everything.” (En.1/75)
Certainly if fathers are to be respected, they must merit respect—if they are to be loved, they must be consistent, lovable, understanding, and kind, and they must honor their priesthood. When the husband is ready to treat his household in that manner, not only the wife but all the family will respond to his leadership.

As for equal partnership, Richard G. Scott said, “it yields its greatest benefit when both husband and wife seek the will of the Lord in making important decisions for themselves and for their family.”
I think the two most important concepts are: to follow the Savior’s example, and to seek the will of the Lord.

Champion of Women
For those who may yet wonder about their worth as a daughter of God,
Elder James E. Talmage stated that “the world’s greatest champion of woman and womanhood is Jesus the Christ” (Jesus the Christ, 3rd edition [1916], 475).
The first time the Lord acknowledged Himself to be the Christ, it was to a Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well. He taught her about living water and proclaimed, simply, “I … am he” (John 4:26).
And it was Martha to whom He proclaimed: “I am the resurrection, and the life. … And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die”
(John 11:25-26)
Then, during His greatest agony as He hung on the cross, the Savior reached out to one person—His mother—when in that terrible but glorious moment He asked John the Beloved to care for her as though she were his own.
(John 19:26-27)
Our Savior, Jesus Christ, truly understands the divinity of women.

In conclusion, I want to share a quote by President Spencer W. Kimball, that is the most often quote I’ve heard on women:
“To be a righteous woman is a glorious thing in any age. To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home—which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.”

So, now you see why Satan is working so hard to demean and undermine women?!

Conclusion:
I would like to conclude with my testimony, that I know of God’s love for women. I have a testimony that Jesus Christ is there for us. I know He can encircle us in the arms of His love and lift us up, and help us bear our burdens, if we will only turn to Him and look to Him. I know He is there. I have felt His love for me in my life. He has given me strength to endure things I couldn’t have handled otherwise and helped me become a better person because of it. He truly lives, of this I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.